Spergs And Retards (Lyrics)

Once upon a time (2019, to be exact) in a far away land (New Jersey, to be precise) there was a Village by the Sea meetup that involved myself, Rerb, Vince, and the chronic napper Aaron Clarey. In-between calling his wife and drinking all the rum, Cappy rightfully complained about the epidemic of “men” online who sperged out over a variety of things written/said/recorded concerning the realities of life.

In a rare moment of genuine inspiration, Cappy referred to them as the “Spergs and Retards.” It is not known who first hummed it to the tune of “Silver and Gold” by Burl Ives, but from that moment on it became a perennial favorite among the Masculine Geeks.

I now present to you official song lyrics for your yuletide enjoyment.

Feel free to use the original song as a guide.

Watch this video on YouTube.

Spergs and Retards Lyrics

(speaking)

Spergs and retards

Whenever someone misses a point you make

You can bet it’s spergs and retards

(singing)

Spergs and retards

Spergs and retards

Everyone hates the spergs and retards

Think they can’t get any more sad?

That’s when they surprise you – again.

Spergs and retards

Spergs and retards

Means that you’ll never be free

Of idiotic commentary on every essay, see?

(speaking)

Now children imagine a life always triggered like a whiny twit

Can’t even have a laugh at your own expense

Think of all the fun of living a masculine geek life

That would be lost playing keyboard warrior all day

(singing)

Spergs and retards

Spergs and retards

Mean that you’ll never be free

Of idiotic commentary

On every essay, see?

 

Merry Christmas. God bless us, everyone – even the spergs and retards among us.

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